i'm hillariously inconsistant. I actually quit that job i mentioned last post the day after i started it. Aweful things they wanted us to do. Right now I've sort of applied for another position within the same company and we'll see how that works out.
I start school on tuesday and have just finished reading the golden notebook, by doris lessing. So good. I love when that happens- when i'm made to read good books. It's much better than the alternative. I can never think of anything to write in here. I could talk about my adventures - however i haven't really been having any and if i did write about what i'd been doing it would go a bit like this.... woke up hung around the flat a bit- thought i should read, went into town, got bored walking around, hate walking around with people who want to be shopping ( it's their right to want to shop- i just hate that feeling of pressure when you're having a nice walk) went to the grocery store, came home, watched television- you've been framed (like america's funniest home video's), weakest link and the simpsons, made dinner, asked what everyone was doing that night- if they say they're going into town i stay home, if they're goign to the uni bar i think about it and most likely agree, we go to the bar, play a couple of games of pool, chew the fat and never really talk about anything, enjoy one another's company, come home when the bar closes, stay up checking my e-mail and waiting/hoping for people from home to be online, read a bit more, check on flight prices from beijing to los angelos, go to sleep etc.

i want to be going to movies- independent ones and talking walks in the fields behind my flat, and having good conversation about things that matter without feeling like i'm going to allienate or offend someone, i want to be reading faster and more efficiently, and exercising more, writing more and better, but for so many of those things i feel like i need someone else to do them with me or someone to coax me into doing it. Even though i put up a sign above my bed last week that says "no one is coming" i'm still waiting, for whomever to come make me have fun, make me do the things i want to do, make me grow and learn and make me happy. it's really quite stupid, but this is something i struggle with all the time. and the solution is just for me to get up and do things- but instead i wait.

the next thing i'd like to do is write about all the new american's who've moved in and how i feel about them- etc, what we've been doing and past adventures. but not right now- right now it's bedtime. thanks to everyone who is still reading. g'night