A wayward lass

Life Lists

2009-04-20T23:21:00.003-07:00

My Life List 2/27/96 (with revisions from 11/11/08) Black Strikethroughs are completions…Red Strikethroughs are revisions

1) Act in my own movie

2) Write a book

3) Marry and have children

4) ~~Go to France and Italy~~

5) Find out my heritage

6) ~~Live to be 150~~

7) ~~Fall in Love~~

8) ~~Sing the national anthem at the first super bowl my brother plays in~~

9) ~~Find the cure for cancer~~

10) Weigh 110 ^{130 before a revision at the time} pounds

~~11)~~ ~~Die for someone~~

12) Save someone’s life

13) Be remembered

~~14)~~ ~~Change someone’s life~~

15) Have a man sing to me and read my favorite poem

16) Go to Monaco

~~17)~~ ~~Go to Egypt~~

18) Become a teacher (in progress)

19) Eliminate Hate (as much as possible)

~~20)~~ ~~Date Brad Pitt~~

21) Have ~~someone~~ ^{an important person} quote me

~~22)~~ ~~Make the basketball team in college~~

~~23)~~ ~~Make the softball team in college~~

24) Live up to my potential

25) Become rich and famous

26) Be a role model

27) Publish my book

28) Get in a fight

~~29)~~ ~~Get in a verbal fight and win~~

30) Go to Australia

31) Die happy

~~32)~~ ~~Be the President (of something)~~

33) Write ^(good) poetry

~~34)~~ ~~Be perfect~~

35) (this actually is listed but was blank)

TOP FIVE JOBS (probably summer of 2007)

1) Actress – Broadway/musical theatre and film. Possibly extends into a directing/cinematography or production career.

2) Diplomat – Something low key but productive possibly leads toward a cabinet position (Secretary of State) or some non-partisan position with influence.

3) Professor – At progressive liberal arts college like Evergreen. Something where curriculum and teaching style aren’t traditional.

4) Lifetime Volunteer – working with a variety of people/cultures. Sharing ideas, being part of a community attempting to make life better for others.

5) Small business owner – bookstore/coffee shop/some kind of social services org but not a non-profit.

Honorable Mention: Writer

Team “Get Your Shit Together” A Tuesday night at Sierra Tap House in late 2008

-Own my own business

-Do aid work in Africa/Asia/South America

-Teach (preferably College)

-Public Service (government, diplomacy)

-Journalism of some sort…

-Oral Histories

-Radio

-Columnist

-Writer/Poet (make a living)

-Not work/Lifetime Volunteer

-Actress^{(on broadway)}/screenwriter/director

growth spurts

2008-09-21T23:07:00.003-07:00

I really haven't liked my life much since the last post. There have been good times, laughter, joy, passion, delight, simplicity, and even satisfaction. But I don't think I knew how to see those things until now.

I can see now why Sara would argue that La vie en rose is not the greatest song ever written, but rather Amazing Grace.

Was lost, but now am found.

It's a cycle, I'm sure, of losing and finding oneself.

This day, I find comfort in the many losses, the struggles, the catastrophes and mediocrities that make up the accumulation of experience.

As I am now, I will never be again.

Much peace can be found in the interminable flux of this lifetide.

A visit from our friendly neighborhood police officer

2007-03-12T21:33:00.000-07:00

There is nothing funnier or more embarrassing than having one of your neighbors overhear you and you friend playing super mario bros. and calling the cops because he/she/they are worried the shouts of expletives, squeals and, yes, sometimes screams- could possibly be a domestic abuse situation.

My pal Z and I were playing mario vs. luigi on the new super mario bros game on our nintendo ds' (his in sleak black, mine practical white). As our evening of healthy sportsmanlike competition came to a close while Z was walking home he was confronted by a policeman at the foot of my stairs. I didn't hear exactly what they were saying- but it sounded as though Z was explaining why there might have been screams coming from the 2nd floor window in the corner. Assuming it was one of my neighbors coming to curse at me for ruining a peaceful- dare I say it- "Spring" evening with my hoot-n-holler'n I quickly slipped on my chaco's and slowly but assuredly made my way down the staircase.

At the second to last step I glanced to my left to find my startlingly innocent looking friend with a man of the law, and I doubled over, hand over my mouth, stifling the pungently inappropriate laughter.

Whilst still wrapped in giggles I made my way to the officer and 1. thanked him for coming, 2. apologized for wasting his time, and 3. scurried into Z's shoulder to snicker some more at the ridiculousness of the situation and my embarrassment.

The officer politely left us with a simple warning: "Don't get too involved in your video games."

Just another night in the adventures of Z and SV....or should I say Mario and Luigi!

crap, complete and utter rubbish

2006-09-27T22:21:00.000-07:00

I've just read my thesis, I think, for the first time since I wrote it and the title of this bloggity blog refers to this text.

ick ick ick.

I should post it up here for everyone to read and be disgusted by.

what's worse is that it, I'm sure like so many other projects or endeavors, begins with such high hopes, such extraordinary aspirations. but I didn't put the work in. at all.

gross gross gross.

and this really isn't a case of me being my harshest critic. Nope- my advisor even thought it was crap...or as she so lovingly and delicately put it...incomplete.

I think I'm going to rewrite it. My advisor asked me to then, but I was so involved in my impending move back to the U.K. that I didn't take the time. She gave me an out and I took it.

Now. Now that England has fallen through, and I'm unbelievably uncertain of my ability to be a critical and decisive being at all, now I need to revise.

or perhaps entirely rewrite, reconceptualize, rethink.

or just do.

I'm pitiful when it comes to action. I call myself and activist...but I don't act. I very rarely do.

I am not a baby-making-machine

2006-09-21T18:07:00.000-07:00

The pregnancy police are watching you

In the US, women of child-bearing age are being advised to consider themselves 'pre-pregnant' at all times, by giving up smoking, drinking and drugs. What are the implications of treating people as glorified incubators, asks Diane Taylor

Monday September 4, 2006
The Guardian

When Regina McKnight, of South Carolina, went to her local hospital to give birth in May 1999, she prayed that the baby would be healthy. She had good reason to worry. Since her mother had been killed by a hit-and-run driver the previous year McKnight had begun smoking crack. She was naturally devastated when the baby was stillborn - and shocked, five months later, to be charged with homicide. Prosecutors argued that smoking crack had caused the stillbirth and that McKnight should therefore be classed as a murderer.

Despite medically disputed evidence about the role cocaine had played in the tragedy, McKnight went on to become the first woman in US history to be convicted of foetal homicide by child abuse. An appeal to the US Supreme Court failed and she is serving a 12-year jail term.

In the US, more than 20 states now define drug use by an expectant mother as child abuse, neglect or even torture, while The Unborn Victims of Violence Act, passed by Congress in 2004, argues that foetuses are separate persons under the law, with rights independent of the pregnant woman. Any aspect of a pregnant woman's behaviour that might risk foetal health - except of course abortion - is therefore open to punishment in the courts. And last May, legislators in Arkansas proposed making it, not just a matter of social and moral oppobrium, but an offence worthy of prosecution for a pregnant woman to smoke a single cigarette.

New federal guidelines issued this year ask any woman capable of conceiving to treat themselves - and to be treated by their health-care provider - as "pre-pregnant" at all times. Women between their first menstrual period and the menopause are told to take folic acid supplements, stop smoking, stop drinking regularly, maintain a healthy weight and keep chronic conditions such as asthma and diabetes under control; not primarily for their own health but to protect any baby that they may or may not be planning to have. They're also advised to steer clear of lead-based paint and cat faeces - a problem for any "pre-pregnant" folk whose household chores include cleaning the litter tray. There is no mention of "pre- fertilisers", ie, fathers, taking similar steps to ensure their sperm are healthy, despite studies that suggest male alcoholism can cause birth defects in children.

The rationale for the guidelines is that half of all pregnancies are unplanned and that the US has a higher infant mortality rate than most other industrialised nations. At the moment there is no talk of criminal sanctions against women who fail to comply with the pre-pregnancy guidance but it's another worrying sign that US women are expected to treat themselves as incubators first, individuals second. And the onward march of foetal harm legislation suggests that it's not entirely Orwellian to suspect that women might, in future, be criminalised for any indulgent behaviour before a pregnancy - as well as during - that ends up harming their child.

Lynn Paltrow, executive director of the New York-based group, National Advocates for Pregnant Women, believes that hatred of women is at the root of the trend. "It's linked to 30 years of vicious anti-abortion rhetoric that describes women who terminate pregnancies as murderers," she says. "You can't have that level of hateful rhetoric and just limit it to abortion. Once pregnant women are seen as capable of heinous crimes like murder, they are dehumanised."

Of course, it's obviously far better for a developing foetus if an expectant mother gives up drinking, smoking and taking drugs. But while it seems no expense is spared to prosecute and jail women addicts, far too little is spent on getting them appropriate treatment. And the women involved in these cases are almost always those most in need of support - there have been no stories of children dragged from rich Manhattan mothers who choose to snort a few lines of coke before breakfast. Those targeted are disproportionately black and poor. And all the sound and fury about the highly prized foetus evaporates once it is no longer in utero: children of drug-addicted mothers are often dumped in foster placements, where study after study has shown they have little chance of thriving.

This attitude to pregnant women shows signs of crossing the Atlantic. The behaviour of expectant mothers has never been more closely scrutinised or criticised, with both Kate Garraway and Kerry Katona having been attacked by the tabloids in recent months after being pictured with a cigarette plus baby bump. And some sources have proposed measures that aim to ensure that transgressive women can't conceive. In a recent paper, Professor Neil McKeganey of Glasgow University, a specialist in the social effects of drug misuse, suggested that "paying female drug users to use long-term contraception is one ... incentive that we may need to consider if we fail to reduce the level of unwanted pregnancies by drug users by other means". In a separate development, Labour MSP Duncan McNeil has proposed adding oral contraceptive to prescription methadone.

Dr Mary Hepburn, who runs the Glasgow Women's Reproductive Health Service supports women with social problems during pregnancy and after birth. What she finds most disturbing is the blanket condemnation applied to drug-using mothers.

"The gap between the rich and the poor is growing," she says, "and so is the gap between the poor and the very poor. A lot of the problems the women I work with experience are caused by poverty rather than by drugs in isolation. A punitive approach towards them will drive them underground, which won't be good for them or their babies."

When it comes to drug- or alcohol-addicted expectant mothers, obviously the ideal way forward is for them to seek treatment. Even for the richest people, addiction is supremely difficult to tackle, but for those from the lowest socio-economic groups the depredations that have led to them becoming drug-users generally make it extremely hard for them to give up. In the current US climate, though, the punitive approach towards pregnant women - in which women have been dragged to prison cells, hours after giving birth to a healthy baby, still haemorrhaging but having tested positive for drugs - means that few are likely to seek treatment. Who would take that risk if it meant the possibility of prosecution, a jail term and your child being removed from your care?

As Paltrow says: "The US has a phenomenal disregard for the wellbeing of families. Almost every problem is seen as one of personal responsibility rather than social or community responsibility." And the punitive approach to pregnant mothers emphasises this, legislating against women who might otherwise seek help for their personal problems.

In the last couple of decades laws targeting some of the US's most vulnerable women have crept inexorably, state by state, across the country, and now the institution of pre-pregnancy guidelines brings the spectre of women facing even wider punishment. In the UK we need to be vigilant to ensure that, in similar situations, pregnant women receive support - rather than a prison sentence.

We need to be talking about this. I'm sure as hell not some incubator for a baby....nor do I want to ever see people WHO ACTUALLY WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN treated as though they are incubators first. This is just wrong. Has it been too long since the Handmaids Tale was required reading? Has no one thought about the consequences of treating women as objects for reproduction? Is no one talking about this?

Please give me your thoughts on this article. Did any of you know that people were being arrested for foetal homicide? I can't believe it.

and I also find the whole idea of handing out condoms at methodone clinics is just weird. I functionally and rationally understand why it's a good idea to stop people who are currently addicted from getting pregnant both for the user and their child's sake....but doesn't it seem a bit like Indira fucking Gandhi running around sterilizing the untouchables? Trying to eliminate a portion of the population by making it impossible to procreate...isn't this part of what the Nazi's were doing to the Jews?

Is that really a way that we want to "solve" the problem of drug addiction...by stoping addicted users from having babies?

I do believe that pregnant women who have chosen to keep the child should be OFFERED all the help they can get in order to get them off drugs, or to help them get the nutritian that they need, or parenting classes so they can be responsible parents. They do not need to be harrassed or treated as baby-making-machines or thrown in prison because of an addiction.

and of course this entire thing is so unbelievably gendered that I want to pull my hair out. They even make note in the article that future fertilizers aren't required to change their habits or get help for their addictions because they might someday become a father. IS everyone so blind to the double standard we have in America....not only in this instance but in almost every instance when it comes to men and women? Don't women still make only 75cents to a man's dollar for the same work? And on the other side only men have mandatory conscription to the army. And unfortunately (despite our so-called push towards family values in this country) only women can get pregnancy leave- though ideally we would have both parents helping to raise the child, rather than putting the burden on only one.

This is obviously something I could go on forever about, and something that needs to be discussed more often.

so please. weigh in.

where I'm supposed to be.

2006-07-18T21:33:00.000-07:00

First. Go here

Second these are the top 24 U.S. Cities I should live in according to www.findmyspot.com

1)Hartford, Connecticut

2)Portland, Oregon

3)Providence, Rhode Island

4)Boston, Massachusetts

5)Worcester, Massachusetts

6)New Haven, Connecticut

7)Eugene, Oregon

8)Danbury, Connecticut

9)Little Rock, Arkansas

10)Corvallis, Oregon

11)Baltimore, Maryland

12)Washington D.C.

13)San Fransisco, California

14)Honolulu, Hawaii

15)San Jose, California

16)Salem, Oregon

17)Sheboygan, Wisconsin

18)Charleston, West Virginia

19)Fayetteville, Arkansas

20)Cape Cod, Massachusettes

21)Medford,Oregon

22)Sante Fe, New Mexico

23)Milwaukee, Minnesota

24)Santa Cruz, California

I am partial to 2,4,12,14 and 19. I am only realistically attracted to 2 and 19. The rest are just dreams.

any votes?

She's got everything she needs. she's an artist. she dont' look back.

2006-07-10T16:30:00.000-07:00

my new friend merritt is beyond lovely. she is actually....unbelievable.

i'm a big fan.

so that's what's been happening lately.

good good.

The start of something Great

2006-05-26T13:46:00.000-07:00

Children play at school in a camp for internally displaced people in Darfur, Sudan. © AI

45 years ago on May 28 (my day of birth 24 years ago) Amnesty International began.

In honor of their 45th Anniversary I have sent 25 letters and 40 emails calling for action regarding all of AI's current campaigns. That is my birthday present to them.

If, by chance you're thinking of me on my birthday- if you'd like to give me a gift- go here and read about some of the things AI is doing and maybe even send an e-mail or two. They make it easy, and it would be an awesome gift to know that some of you even went to the page. So read the article below- which is the article that started AI and visit the page and have a lovely memorial day weekend

The article by Peter Benenson published in the "The Observer"May 28, 1961. You can also go here for a properly formatted article.

OPEN your newspaper any day of the week and you will find a report from somewhere in the world of someone being imprisoned, tortured or executed because his opinions or religion are unacceptable to his government. There are several million such people in prison - by no means all of them behind the Iron and Bamboo Curtains - and their numbers are growing. The newspaper reader feels a sickening sense of impotence. Yet if these feelings of disgust all over the world could be united into common action, something effective could be done.

In 1945 the founder members of the United Nations approved the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Article 18.- Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion: this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom either alone or in company with others in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.

Article 19.- Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression: this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.

There is at present no sure way of finding out how many countries permit their citizens to enjoy these two fundamental freedoms. What matters is not the rights that exist on paper in the Constitution, but whether they can be exercised and enforced in practice. No government, for instance, is at greater pains to emphasize its constitutional guarantees than the Spanish, but it fails to apply them.

There is a growing tendency all over the world to disguise the real grounds upon which "non-conformists" are imprisoned. In Spain, students who circulate leaflets calling for the right to hold discussions on current affairs are charged with "military rebellion." In Hungary, Catholic priests who have tried to keep their choir schools open have been charged with "homosexuality."

These cover-up charges indicate that governments are by no means insensitive to the pressure of outside opinion. And when world opinion is concentrated on one weak spot, it can sometimes succeed in making a government relent. For instance, the Hungarian poet Tibor Dery was recently released after the formation of "Tibor Dery committees" in many countries; and Professor Tierno Galvan and his literary friends were acquitted in Spain this March, after the arrival of some distinguished foreign observers.London office to gather factsThe important thing is to mobilise public opinion quickly, and widely, before a government is caught up in the vicious spiral caused by its own repression, and is faced with impending civil war. By then the situation will have become too desperate for the government to make concessions. The force of opinion, to be effective, should be broadly based, international, non-sectarian and all-party. Campaigns in favour of freedom brought by one country, or party, against another, often achieve nothing but an intensification of persecution.That is why we have started 'Appeal for Amnesty, 1961'. The campaign, which opens to-day, is the result of an initiative by a group of lawyers, writers and publishers in London, who share the underlying conviction expressed by Voltaire: "I detest your views, but am prepared to die for your right to express them."We have set up an office in London to collect information about the names, numbers, and conditions of what we have decided to call "Prisoners of Conscience;" and we define them thus: "Any person who is physically restrained (by imprisonment or otherwise) from expressing (in any form of words or symbols) any opinion which he honestly holds and which does not advocate or condone personal violence."We also exclude those people who have conspired with a foreign government to overthrow their own. Our office will from time to time hold Press conferences to focus attention on Prisoners of Conscience selected impartially from different parts of the world. And it will provide factual information to any group, existing or new, in any part of the world, which decides to join in a special effort in favor of freedom of opinion or religion.In October a Penguin Special called "Persecution 1961" will be published as part of our Amnesty campaign. In it are stories of nine men and women from different parts of the world, of varying political and religious outlook, who have been suffering imprisonment for expressing their opinions. None of them is a professional politician; all of them are professional people. The opinions which have brought them to prison are the common coinage of argument in free society.

Poet flogged in front of family.

One story is of the revolting brutality with which Angola's leading poet, Agostino Neto, was treated before the present disturbances there broke out. Dr. Neto was one of the five African doctors in Angola. His efforts to improve the health services for his fellow Africans were unacceptable to the Portugese. In June last year the Political Police marched into his house, had him flogged in front of his family and then dragged away. He has since been in the Cape Verde Isles without charge or trial.

From Romania, we shall print the story of Constatin Noica, the philosopher, who was sentenced to twenty-five years' imprisonment because, while "rusticated," his friends and pupils continued to visit him, to listen to his talk on philosophy and literature.The book will also tell of the Spanish lawer, Antonio Amat, who tried to build a coalition of democratic groups, and has been in trial since November, 1958; and of two white men persecuted by their own race for preaching that colored races should have equal rights - Ashton Jones, the sixty-five-year-old minister, who last year was repeatedly beaten-up and three times imprisoned in Lousiana and Texas for doing what the Freedom Riders are now doing in Alabama; and Patrick Duncan, the son of a former South African Governer-General, who, after three stays in prison, has just been served with an order forbidding him from attending or addressing any meeting for five years.'Find out who is in gaol'

The technique of publicising the personal stories of a number of prisoners of contrasting politics is a new one. It has been adopted to avoid the fate of previous amnesty campaigns, which so often have become more concerned with publicising the political views of the imprisoned than with humanitarian purposes.How can we discover the state of freedom in the world to-day? The American philosopher, John Dewey, once said, "If you want to establish some conception of a society, go find out who is in gaol." This is hard advice to follow, because there are few governments which welcome inquiries about the number of Prisoners of Conscience they hold in prison. But another test of freedom one can apply is whether the Press is allowed to criticise the government. Even many democratic governments are surprisingly sensitive to Press criticism. In France, General de Gaulle has intensived newspaper seizures, a policy he inherited from the Fourth Republic. In Britian and the United States occasional attempts are made to draw the sting of Press criticism by the technique of taking editors into confidence about a "security secret," as in the Blake spy case.Within the British Commonwealth, the Government of Ceylon has launched an attack on the Press, and is threatening to take the whole industry under public control. In Pakistan the Press is at the mercy of the Martial Law administration. In Ghana, the opposition Press operates under great disabilities. In South Africa, which leaves the Commonwealth on Wednesday, the government is planning further legislation to censor publications. Outside the Commonwealth, Press freedom is especially in peril in Indonesia, the Arab World, and Latin American countries such as Cuba. In the Communist world, and in Spain and Portugal, Press criticism of the Government is rarely tolerated.Churchill's dictum on democracyAnother test of freedom is whether the government permits a political opposition. The post-war years have seen the spread of "personal regimes" across Asia and Africa. Wherever an opposition party is prevented from putting up candidates, or from verifying election results, much more than its own future is at stake. Multi-party elections may be cumbruos in practice, and the risk of coalitions makes for unstable government; but no other way has yet been found to guarantee freedom to minorities or safety to non-conformists. Whatever truth there may be in the old remark that democracy does not fit well with emergent nationalism, we should also remember Winston Churchill's dictum: "Democracy is a damned bad system of government, but nobody has thought of a better."

A fourth test of freedom is, whether those accused of offences against the State receive a speedy and public trial before an impartial court: whether they are allowed to call witnesses, and whether their lawyer is able to present the defence in the way he thinks best. In recent years there has been a regrettable trend in some of those countries that take pride in possessing an independent judiciary: by declaring a state of emergency and taking their opponents into "preventative detention," governments have side-stepped the need to make and prove criminal charges. At the other extreme there is the enthusiasm in Soviet countries to set up institutions which, though called courts, are really nothing of the sort. The so-called "comradely courts" in the U.S.S.R., which have the power to deal with "parasites," are in essence little more than departments of the Ministry of Labor, shifting "square pegs" to empty holes in Siberia. In China the transmigration of labor by an allegedly judicial process is on a gigantic scale.

The most rapid way of bringing relief to Prisoners of Conscience is publicity, especially publicity among their fellow-citizens. With the pressure of emergent nationalism and the tensions of the Cold War, there are bound to be situations where governmetns are led to take emergency measures to protect their existence. It is vital that public opinions should insist that these measures should not be excessive, nor prolonged after the moment of danger. If the emergency is to last a long time, then a government should be induced to allow its opponents out of prison, to seek asylum abroad.Frontier control more efficient.

Although there are no statistics, it is likely that recent years have seen a steady decrease in the number of people reaching asylum. This is not so much due to the unwillingness of other countries to offer shelter, as to the greatly increased efficiency of frontier control, which to-day makes it harder for people to get away. Attempts to reach agreement on a workable international convention on asylum at the United Nations have dragged on for many years with little result.

There is also the problem of labour restrictions on immigrants in many countries. So long as work is not available in "host" countries, the right of asylum is largely empty. 'Appeal for Amnesty, 1961', aims to help towards providing suitable employment for poltical and religious refugees. It would be good if in each "host" country a central employment office for these people could be set up with the co-operation of the employers' federations, the trade unions and the Ministry of Labour.

In Britain there are many firms willing to give out translation and correspondence work to refugees, but no machinery to link supply with demand. Those regimes that refuse to allow their nationals to seek asylum on the ground that they go abroad only to conspire, might be less reluctant if they knew that, on arrival, the refugess would not be kicking their feet in idle frustration.

The members of the Council of Europe have agreed a Convention of Human Rights, and set up a commission to secure its enforcement. Some countries have accorded to their citizens the right to approach the commission individually. But some, including Britian, have refused to accept the jurisdiction of the commission over individual complaints, and France has refused to ratify the Convention at all. Public opinion should insist on the establishment of effective supra-national machinery not only in Europe but on similar lines in other continents.This is an especially suitable year for an Amnesty Campaign. It is the centenary of President Lincoln's inauguration, and of the beginning of the Civil War which ended with the liberation of the American slaves; it is also the centenary of the decree that emancipated the Russian serfs. A hundred years ago Mr. Gladstone's budget swept away the oppressive duties on newsprint and so enlarged the range and freedom of the Press; 1861 marked the end of the tyranny of King "Bomba" of Naples, and the creation of a united Italy; it was also the year of the death of Lacordaire, the French Dominican opponent of Bourbon and Orleanist oppression.

The success of the 1961 Amnesty Campaign depends on how sharply and powerfully it is possible to rally public opinion. It depends, too, upon the campaign being all-embracing in its composition, international in character and politically impartial in direction. Any group is welcome to take part which is prepared to condemn persecution regardless of where it occurs, who is responsible or what are the ideas suppressed. How much can be achieved when men and women of good will unite was shown during World Refugee Year. Inevitably most of the action called for by 'Appeal for Amnesty, 1961', can only be taken by governments. Experience shows that in matters such as these, governments are prepared to follow only where public opinion leads. Pressure of opinion a hundred years ago brought about the emancipation of the slaves. It is now for man to insist upon the same freedom for his mind as he has won for his body.

Appeal for Amnesty, 1961: THE AIMS
1. To work impartially for the release of those imprisioned for their opinions.
2. To seek for them a fair and public trial.
3. To enlarge the Right of Asylum and help political refugees to find work.
4. To urge effective international machinery to guarantee freedom of opinion.

To these ends, an office has been set up in London to collect and publish information about Prisoners of Conscience all over the world. The first Press Conference of the campaign will be held to-morrow, where will include three M.P.s, John Foster, Q.C. (Con.), F. Elwyn Jones, Q.C. (Lab.), and Jeremy Thorpe (Lib.). All offers of help and information should be sent to: Appeal for Amnesty, 1, Mitre Court Buildings, Temple, E.C.4.
-PETER BENENSON

solitude

2006-05-01T22:13:00.000-07:00

so, I was looking for a picture that represented solitude and opportunity and this about does it.

For those of you who don't know...I moved back to Nevada in December of 05. I have lived in Reno since then and I am working for a Non Profit that does lots and lots of good work. I have my own apartment and am having a really nice time being out of school and practicing at being a responsible adult.

I chose the solitude idea to talk about today because last night I turned off all the lights in my place and put on an old cd I had made for a friend called "for when you're lost" and just sat and thought and listened until the whole cd was finished.

I enjoyed this so very much, that solitude...that simplicity, that I think I'm going to make a habit of doing that at least once a month.

While listening and thinking I found myself really at peace.

I imagine I had been avoiding this blog for several reasons- many of them having to do with facing my own fears about being back in america, about failure, about irresponsibility, about judgement and perceptions about me.

But last night I was happy and alone and happy to be alone- and that is really rare for me.

It's not so daunting to think that I've been back in Reno for almost 5 months now- nor so daunting to think that I have no idea when I'm going to leave.

I've got lots and lots of daunting things to think about- mostly financial...but i'm doing pretty good about managing that part of my life better. And my parents were right that when you sort money matters it really feels like a weight is lifted. Even for someone like me who really hates the entire concept of money and wealth and the accumulation of it. It's still something I have to think about...and I really really am thinking about it now. Almost too much, but it's a nice contrast to the times when I never thought about it or the consequences of not managing my finances.

Besides money matters I'm spending a lot of time trying to learn things on my own...outside the classroom. And I'm thoroughly enjoying that.

While I was in London I became a bit obsessed with the Democratic Republic of Congo and that has flourished into a healthy appetite for as much knowledge, information, perspective and understanding of not only the DRC but much of the rest of Africa as well.

I think I've always known that I want to help people- that's been a core value behind every class I've ever taken and every organization I've ever been a part of. For a while, that idea became something I wanted to do as best as possible- which is why I went into Critical Theory. Because I have some pretty severe worries about helping people without actually helping them. The band-aid, something to cover up a wound but not necessarily heal it. And I found a lot of extraordinary information in my short period of studying Critical theory...enough for me to know that I could get entrenched there and never come out. So I left, without really knowing if I would come back. I'm still not sure if an MA in Cultural and Critical Studies is what I need to help people. I'm beginning to believe that what I could learn there needs to be done outside of a classroom and inside my own head- because ultimately I don't think I'm smart enough or capable enough or logical enough or rational enough to be a critical theorist- I think i'd rather do the hands-on stuff.

So back to my wanting to help people. my first step towards the realization of my goal to help people- is to help myself.

which is what brings me to Reno, NV and a steady job and a clearer focus on my finances and my health.

so that's a little update for today.

Perhaps tomorrow I'll speak more about the extraordinary circumstance of this day- happening all around me.

till then. thanks for listening.

long vacation

2006-02-21T04:52:00.000-08:00

So I think I've been afraid of writing in this here little blog, for whatever reason.

I mostly just wanted to post some pictures.

First one's Morsa and Hazel.

next is the new place.

and lastly my beautiful best friend on her 24th birthday.

that's all for now.

monsoon holiday

2005-11-30T17:07:00.000-08:00

no pictures this time but links links links

My favorite link for today is this one.

I'll have to tell you the story behind it.

So it's the holiday season and I decided to check and see if a website I had stumbled upon ages ago was still out there. I'm looking for alternative things to do with the money you spend on gifts for family and friends at christmas. I remember a couple of years ago going to www.heifer.org, which is an amazing site and it gives you the opportunity to do something really helpful with your moola. I found my way back to heifer.org and started reading the article I've linked above, and man oh man did it make my day. Such an extraordinary woman.

so yes. read it-when you've got the time, it's a bit long- but definitely worth it.

and more links for your reading pleasure.

This is such a good site for things we should be learning about.
If you have any money or any family members who might just forgo a christmas gift for a good cause give these folks some money.
It absolutely cannot hurt to go here.
TODAY you should wear a red ribbon.
some folks I might like to work for someday.
A bit like heifer.org but still good stuff.
This is a great site, though it is based in the UK, it offers worldwide boycotts.
I'm a huge fan of this lady and what she's done.

yippy that's all for now.

I have met- in the last week a Zimbabwean documentary film maker, and an Iraqi magician. Both were completely magical encounters.

I must once again encourage everybody who feels that they can, to give money to some kind of charity instead of buying gifts for people. Or better yet, if you have already bought gifts or still want to- why not just sit down and have a conversation with someone about the world, anything you can think of will do. I think it's a good idea to think about the world sometimes...earth, other people, other beings, etc and ourselves.

definitely ourselves

oh and this is something very important that needs to be said. Pigeon sent it to me- apparantly it's all of UK livejournal's

"a lot has been said about how to prevent rape.
women should learn self-defense. women should lock themselves in their
houses after dark. women shouldn't have long hair and women shouldn't
wear short skirts. women shouldn't leave drinks unattended. They
shouldn't dare to get drunk at all.

instead of that bullshit, how about:

if a woman is drunk, don't rape her.
if a woman is walking alone at night, don't rape her.
if a women is drugged and unconscious, don't rape her.
if a woman is wearing a short skirt, don't rape her.
if a woman is jogging in a park at 5 am, don't rape her.
if a woman looks like your ex-girlfriend you're still hung up on,
don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in her bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is asleep in your bed, don't rape her.
if a woman is doing her laundry, don't rape her.
if a woman is in a coma, don't rape her.
if a woman changes her mind in the middle of or about a particular
activity, don't rape her.
if a woman has repeatedly refused a certain activity, don't rape her.

if a woman is not yet a woman, but a child, don't rape her.
if your girlfriend or wife is not in the mood, don't rape her.
if your step-daughter is watching tv, don't rape her.
if you break into a house and find a woman there, don't rape her.
if your friend thinks it's okay to rape someone, tell him it's not,
and that he's not your friend.

if your "friend" tells you he raped someone, report him to the police.
if your frat-brother or another guy at the party tells you there's an
unconscious woman upstairs and it's your turn, don't rape her, call
the police and tell the guy he's a rapist.

tell your sons, god-sons, nephews, grandsons, sons of friends it's not
okay to rape someone.

don't tell your women friends how to be safe and avoid rape.
don't imply that she could have avoided it if she'd only done/not done x.
don't imply that it's in any way her fault.
don't let silence imply agreement when someone tells you he "got some"
with the drunk girl.
don't perpetuate a culture that tells you that you have no control
over or responsibility for your actions. You can, too, help yourself.

If you agree, repost it. It's that important."

i hope all are happy and healthy and working hard but loving it.

-s

this made me go a big one

2005-11-24T07:42:00.000-08:00

Oh man did this make my day. I am now a frequent visitor to this site and I found these great pictures from a protest against U.S. military bases in Sofia, Bulgaria. What I was really delighted by was the age range of the protestors. There were small children and the standard disaffected youth, but also pensioners, those at the retirement age or beyond. Especially this fellow below who must have had a very important point to make.

Just makes me smile that every day people get up and get out of bed to upset the status quo, to make protest against something they see as wrong, to work towards something they believe in.

And that this drive doesn't seem *at least in Sofia* to fizzle once middle-age is reached.

just some thoughts.

Oh and today while packing I stumbled across a list of things I believe in, or values that I espouse. I think I'll post them up here for fun.

1. I do not want to sell my time to someone or something of which I am not passionately engaged and morally supportive.
2. I believe opportunity is one of the most important things we, as humans, have.
3. I believe that a significant benefit would arise from a change in perspective (both for myself and others). A perspective in which there is reverence and respect for all beings, in which no hierarchies exsist (at least not in a way that promotes and encourages the expoitation of one being [or a group of beings] for the benefit of another).
4.I believe in Dynamic Equilibrium.
5. I believe I can be better than what I am, a better human, a better being.
6. I believe health is important to my ability to be better.
7. I believe dichotomies and binary thinking are harmful to life.
8. I believe there are various shades of grey*and an infinite pallat of other colors* and no such thing as only black and white.
9. I believe there are multitudes within the truth. :) keskes
10. Contradictions are not always good, not always bad, not ever necessarily exclusive things.
11. I believe there can be joy in perplexity.
12. I believe the ability to commit is a virtue and the ability to challenge and question- also a virtue.
13. I believe one should be critical, but make decisions.
14. I believe one should be generous with themselves and with others.
15. I believe looking at the differences between us in a way that doesn't foster hierarchizement is a valuable endeavor.
16. I believe building, maintaining, and attempting to understand relationships is a virtue.
17. I believe in energy.
18. I belive that I have many things to contribute to the community, the world and myself.

there we go. wasn't that fun. I'm thinking a few of them need further explination, and some of them are in dire need of better wording, but it's alright for a first draft.

The camera can't capture the color

2005-11-18T21:00:00.000-08:00

Today I went for a walk in Hyde park and I brought my camera. It was a crisp, sunny day and I took about 300 pictures. I think I have a problem. ha. I thought I'd share some of the pictures with you.

This guy was raking leaves and wooping them up into the air and I was trying to capture this when he stood and posed for me. hehe. He was very nice and very funny and I didn't get any pictures of the leaves in flight like I wanted. Oh well.

Some of them on the ground.

The statue view of choice.

Tie a ribbon round my branch? I don't know who did this but it made me laugh so I had to take pictures of it.

I like close up things...textures and this is of the chain surrounding that statue up there.

haha. put your camera down and take a picture. I liked this perspective...and it was mostly an accidental picture.

I've decided that I really like benches. And when I die, if someone feels so inclined, I would find a bench set in my memory quite nice, though I wouldn't want the words "in memory of" or "my beloved" or any other epithets traditionally ascribed to dead people. I think it'd be nice if it said "For Shavawn, who was one classy lass." Ha. I'm only joking..I don't want a bench and if someone is going to try to do something in my honor....well give money or time to people who need help. I'm dead! I don't need a bench! *as a side note, I find it quite disturbing that in Hyde Park none of the benches I came in contact with were carved in or graffitied at all, however several of the tree's were. In my logic it goes carve the bench- it's dead, leave the tree alone....though people probably don't carve on the benches because of some sense of reverence for the DEAD person they are in memory of. I've decided if this is still going on when I'm dead, I'm going to start a dead person revolution againsts the carving and graffititing of trees and direct it towards the benches.* man am I nuts or what?

This is what I mean by the camera can't capture the color..this little flower was such a bright magenta that I had to take a picture of it. But then on here, while it is a nice color- it's just not as striking as it was for me. I would really like to have a camera where I can manipulate the lens more. *sigh*

There were fountains, and the water in them had frozen and that was pretty.

another unsatisfying color contrast. Oh well.

Icy fountain. wee.

once again. close up...chain thing. The color on this one turned out quite nicely I think.

Yes and fountains with little cherubim type boys *with very large nostrils...it should be noted* wrestling big fishes. the fish might be my favorite thing carved in stone. He's got attitude and badittude. he is especially nice up close.

So yes. my walk in Hyde park. I shall venture to regents park next, as I live about 7 minutes from it. Woopee!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAURA!

2005-11-18T00:24:00.000-08:00

laura's hands

So right now....somewhere in canada my mate is turning 23, which is the same age as me. we're at the equinox of ages. I'm not even sure if that makes sense, but yay...for the next 6 months we will be the same age. woo.

I thought I'd use this space to tell her happy birthday.

so happy birthday la-oo-rah.

you're loved and missed.

New Technology

2005-11-14T12:51:00.000-08:00

Ah yes, the exciting life and times of my flat. This weekend we had a major upgrade in our acquisition of a shower (finally) and a new television set, with built in dvd player. Since my life has changed so tremendously since the arrivals of these two new gadgets...I thought I'd make an ass of myself and take pictures.

Simple, yet classic. Shiny and new. It's almost come out of the wall twice, and the pressure can only be described using the word drizzle. However, it is NOT A BATH, which is a triumph.

yes the shower prettily in action. Drizzly, but even.

and the TV, which I set up all by myself. woo. I have realized however, while I am happy with the shower and the end of my bath-taking only sentence, I much enjoyed the flat without a functioning TV. It's loud and obnoxious and a conversation killer. Oh and there's nothing good on. Though I have been able to watch Have I got News for You and the original CSI. The latter of which prompted a call to my mum, as she is the only person in the world who could appreciate my excitement.

As for my last post I am still a bit mookish, but I am getting better.

I have made the decision to base some of my unmade decisions on certain factors. So i've limited the scope. Which is suprisingly helpful.

Basically I've discovered that I don't know what I'm doing or what I want to be doing. I'm trying to sort that out.

It's slow going. Not very exciting work...and it's mostly depressing.

It has to be done, though. At least that's what I've decided. And it must be realistic, which is something I have a problem with.

So that's how it's going here. London is cold cold cold cold cold, but sunny.

I have reading to do, and decisions to make. Hope all is quiet on the western front.

until next time

WANK

2005-11-09T23:09:00.000-08:00

I am in a bad mood.

I thought it would be interesting to post something while I am in a bad mood.

Isn't it fun.

I am currently infuriating to myself.

Anybody ever get like that?

It's decision making time, and I'm not making any decisions. Because I'm a coward. Because it's so much easier not to.

ick..see what I mean by infuriating.

And this entry is going to remain gloriously abstract.

Westminster Abbey

2005-11-08T09:58:00.000-08:00

So frog and I went to Westminster Abbey for her last day. It was great. I really like that place. It funny that my favorite places in large cities seem to be places where people are burried. So yes. Had lots of fun.

Outide the abbey they were setting up for some kind of homage to fallen soldiers from the World Wars I think. It was pretty sad to see it...there wasn't actually anyone out there doing anything and just loads of crosses and boxes full of crosses with no one attending them.

this is what most of the plots looked like. The boundaries were up, but not the rest of it. It looked like lots of little graves with boxes on them. Pretty depressing.

one of the nicer crosses, though I think I like this shot mostly for the angle.

What it looked like. Though you can't tell these little plots were on both sides of all the walkways around the Abbey, which means there were a lot of them.

One side had some of the plots done. The smallest crosses had the names of individuals within that specific regiment who had died.

This picture was actually taken once inside the abbey. This is a place we were not supposed to be, but I thought it was very pretty so didn't care about being caught. It was worth it. With all the extraordinarily beautiful things inside the abbey- the outside is just as lovely.

Some of the light through the stained glass was sprinkled on this sarcophagus.

My favorite. he seems very pensive and his eyes look tremendously real. He's from the 16th Century I think.

Taken from the feet of Good Queen Bess. Queen Elizabeth I. I took other pictures of her but they didn't come out. Did I mention that you're not supposed to take pictures in the Abbey. So yes, most of the photo's were stealthily and shakily taken. It should be noted that Mary, Queen of Scots, whom Elizabeth had beheaded has a much larger Sarcophagus than Elizabeth. As James I, Elizabeth's successor was Mary's son. Man those royal folk and the weirdness they do.

this little fellow frightens me. He's one of three men and three other women who line the sarcophagus of some Earl. They are all very sad.

There was one picture that I wish now that I had. It was on the cage which protects Henry VII's Sarcophagus. It was of St. Bartholomew- who was flayed alive. He carried around his own skin in this depiction of him. So it looked like he had a robe or something hanging over his arm, with a head and hands and feet. It disturbed Frog and I so much that we found someone to ask about it. We had many more adventures, but I think i'll have to put them into another post.

yay for big, indoor, old cemetaries. hehe.

bonfire night

2005-11-05T15:51:00.000-08:00

I am distressed.

I am angry and upset and confused and so very sad.

Tonight is the night that they "celebrate" the failed attempt to blow up the houses of parliament some 4 hundred years ago. Guy Fawkes day they call it, because he was the man chosen to light the barrels of gunpowder and end the non-catholic rule of James the 1st. While I completely disagree with Guy Fawlks' and his collaborators' reasoning behind attempting to blow up Parliament and the King, I wonder if it was prompted by a sense of desperation.

I wonder if those in and outside Paris right now just feel desperate. Because two boys were killed, because they feel they've lost control of their community.

And in Derry on the night of January 30, 1972 did young boys walk into the arms of the IRA out of desperation? Was the IRA itself formed out of desperation?

I hear fireworks outside my windows. I know several effigy's to Fawkes and others are being burnt in Lewes at this moment. I know about the 17 protestant martyr's burnt in Lewes that are also commemorated.

I know that people making effigy's tonight are not doing it out of desperation, or at least not on the majority.

I want to know how to make situations where desperation can lead to violence not happen. I want to know how to stop violence that isn't prompted by desperation. But I don't know how.

and I don't know how to tell the people in France to stop, and I wouldn't have known how to tell the people in Northern Ireland (on both sides) to stop. I have no powerful alternative.

I think of Gandhi and Martin Luther King- who both advocated and lived a life of radical non-violent protest.

And they were assasinated.

I think of the Dalai Lama who advocates non-violence not only to other people, but to other beings.

And he has not seen or stepped foot in his home country, of Tibet since 1959. He's been given a Nobel Peace Prize but doesn't get to go home.

And I know that these are just examples. And I know that they are just figureheads and that so much power lies in those of us that choose to be non-violent.

But what happens when we get desperate?

What happens then?

I know and know and know in the deepest depths of my mind, in every cell in my body, inside all of me that violence is not ever going to make anything other than more violence.

But we've got to find an effective alternative for the desperate, or make those who perpetuate violence desperate for a different method.

Don't let the chain end with me.

2005-11-04T16:04:00.000-08:00

Some things I'm doing soon:

Good things turning One Hundred

Good people getting together to stop bad things

Someone to find out about

This is my life now. This coming week is reading week, meaning I don't have to attend classes and when I do start attending classes again- they will actually be different classes. See, the core course here is broken into four different sections. I've now completed two of those four. I begin learning about Cultural Studies on Monday and Culture and Technology on Thursday.

I've planned to spend the week reading as much as I can, especially of the things that aren't assigned to me. Oh and I've devoted at least 3 hours a day to be spent inside the British Library doing specific research.

Busy lady.

Have been on a kick lately of finding my inner activist again. Something I feel needs to happen as I spent so much of the last year in America focusing only on myself and not on others. So yes.
After watching the Corporation I have since watched Norma Rae and Malcolm X. Tonight I think I'll watch Bloody Sunday.

Seeing as I love film so much and that I own all of these films I thought it'd be a good way to boost my activist spirit. Also, it's good to know about these things.....and to understand there is much more behind the story than these films can present.

it's a little chain of inspiration. hehe.

linkage

2005-11-02T16:34:00.000-08:00

so yes. These are places you should go...some of them provided to me by pigeon. *bless her* and others found on my own.

I think I've figured out how to do the html thing where I write something like go here and the word here is the actual link. We'll see

Update on New Orleans.

So I went to a bunch of places that were linked on this films website. You should watch the film as well.

so yes. That's all I have actually. I made it sound very important but I thought to link all the places I went from thecorporation website, then thought it would be more clever to just link to the original site.

I have been reading Guy Debord's The Society of the Spectacle.

very interesting....I must say and someone should ask me about it....sometime in normal conversation cause it's a good'n.

so yes I guess I have to post a picture cause that seems to be my thing...I wonder how disappointed or unaffected people would be if I stopped posting pictures.

anywho.... this is the absolute most recent picture of me- taken last night.

tootaloo

where the magic happens and left overs from before

2005-11-01T06:04:00.000-08:00

So I took my camera to class last night and decided to get a picture of where the magic happens. It's a pretty nice room, I must say. Last night was the end of one section of my core course. It's broken into four sections. Another section ends on Thursday and then I have a week off and I will start the last two sections on the following monday and thursday. I think they are Cultural Studies- the general introduction, and something about technology and culture. They should be pretty fun.

My fancy book-cased, high ceilinged, pretty windowed classroom.

This picture is of adam, our friend who also came to the zombie cocktail party, but not as a zombie. He was the most frightening of us all. In fact he scared the barmaid when we went to the pub. He was great. The thing that made him so very frightening was that he spoke and expressed himself very well- without having the option of making facial expressions. What it reminded me of- was someone with a lot of botox. it's scary when you think about it. moo ha ha.

oh and he would also put a straw up the mask's nose and drink out of it. which was very amusing to all of us at the time.

that's all.
the scariest mask of all time

READ LAST POST FIRST

2005-10-31T10:11:00.000-08:00

So yes. more pictures...of the Tesco Not-so-Mouse-looking Balloons, actually.
haha

Hussy- distressed by the outcome of our specifically purchased mouse balloons. "What the heck, these don't look like mice!"

Good old lady S, doing the stretch the balloon out before you blow it up bit.

And then one of her many attempts to get the ears to come out.

"A show of hands. Who thinks this looks anything like a mouse balloon should?"

There is bound to be a strongly worded letter on it's way to Tesco's Corporate very soon.

zombie cocktail party

2005-10-31T09:40:00.000-08:00

So I went to brighton this weekend for a zombie cocktail party. We had an extremely joyous night. We played games and frightened local pubgoers and consumed many halloweenee things and spent some time being terribly confused by mouse baloons purchased from tesco's whose ears just weren't very mousy.

Anyway- this is my pal ted. as i've just named him because I dont think we named him before. He was lots of fun, though unfortunately not as edible as we would have liked. Ha

The four lasses and our black boots. We all dressed up all fancy and then zombified ourselves.

that's me....I wish you could see more of my severely ratted hair. it was not fun to comb out.

Madame President with her fangs. GRRR

Hussy looking a bit like a droog.

and Lady S, the scariest of us all.

I had a really great time and the next day made fajita's for everyone. we sat around and watched Ferris Bueller's day off and the Life of Brian. It was very very very nice.

anyway...me and my multiple picture posts! ha. hope you enjoy.

playing with new picture posting things..woo

2005-10-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

the aforementioned child in pink tights

environment

2005-10-28T14:04:00.000-07:00

So, when I first arrived here in london I remember saying to Morsa that my building was hot. May I suffer inexplicable horror if I ever use that phrase again. Anyway, here's a scrapbook of some days in my life.

for starters I get off at this tube station.

At the exit I turn Right onto Tottenham Court Road and walk down it until I reach the corner of my street. Where I promptly look right to see the British Telcom Tower.

I then turn onto my street, making a left. that's my street.

I look up at my *hot* building.

I enter the foyer, and walk towards the lift.

Where I go to this floor.

and the button lights up all red.

Once out of the elevator I take a look out the windows towards the houses of parliament in the distance.

I then go to my room.

where I do things like spend hours- literally- on trying to post more than one picture.

so hurrah for success.

that's all.

there are some photo's of my life.