oy i'm off to romania today- in something like two hours. It's been an interesting couple of weeks. I've said almost all my goodbyes and i'm still not crying. I've got this disgusting sinking feeling in my stomach- but no tears. I'm excited to see everyone at home and extremely excited about romania- probably because i have no idea what we are going to do there. Good company makes good times, though, so i'm not worried. im drinking the most gigantic cup of tea right now(not my last in england as nick and aubrey pointed out) and just delaying things. I decided that my computer would be the last thing to be packed up- in fact the only thing in my room right now that has anything to do with me- is this computer. It's odd that the disconnection of an inanimate object has become the penultimate symbol of my rapidly-approaching disconnection from england- at least for a while. I thought of putting a rip-off of a poem i received from a friend of mine up on the wall. It's about leaving a place you've been for so long that parts of you have seeped into the fabric- and readying this new place for the next "bright body". It's entitled Apartment #8 I think i'd give it the subtitle (or room number one for these purposes) but i'm sure the housing people would tear it down and throw it away. It's the effort- they say- that counts- but i feel like i just can't be bothered. i've started to calculate how quickly my englishisms will disipate, and the thought of that makes me very very sad.

I'm still quite pissed off that someone had this idea of going abroad for just a year. It's absurd- it's just not enough time. COMMIT good friends, I say COMMIT to some kind of change. This is like growing an appendage and then slowly watching it atrophe. I'm just bickering- i've had an inexplicable time here. I'm ready for the newness of old things. and that being said- i'm ready for some entirely new things. Looking forward to building a context of romania and watching my worldview grow.

know this: I am happy, lucky, well nourished, loved, and so very grateful. until next time

cheers,

s