crap, complete and utter rubbish

I've just read my thesis, I think, for the first time since I wrote it and the title of this bloggity blog refers to this text.

ick ick ick.

I should post it up here for everyone to read and be disgusted by.

what's worse is that it, I'm sure like so many other projects or endeavors, begins with such high hopes, such extraordinary aspirations. but I didn't put the work in. at all.

gross gross gross.

and this really isn't a case of me being my harshest critic. Nope- my advisor even thought it was crap...or as she so lovingly and delicately put it...incomplete.

I think I'm going to rewrite it. My advisor asked me to then, but I was so involved in my impending move back to the U.K. that I didn't take the time. She gave me an out and I took it.

Now. Now that England has fallen through, and I'm unbelievably uncertain of my ability to be a critical and decisive being at all, now I need to revise.

or perhaps entirely rewrite, reconceptualize, rethink.

or just do.

I'm pitiful when it comes to action. I call myself and activist...but I don't act. I very rarely do.