yesterday was interesting. i didn't much like people yesterday. I think I can confidently say that I'm not a group person. I prefer smaller cozy get togethers. It was christina's birthday and we went out to dinner. I think, perhaps, the reason I don't like people is because I don't like myself enough. I am well aware that there will always be people that I don't like, but sometimes- like yesterday- i didn't much like anyone including myself. I think I was just tired of being sick.

I cried for the first real time last night. thinking about my grandma who passed away in june. I was flipping through my cds and I came across one without a label on it (pretty untypical of me) so I decided to listen to it. For my granny's funeral I had made a cd with music that the family wanted and that granny would have liked. The label-less cd was that cd. It took me by suprise and i couldn't help but crying. It's funny how things sneak up on you like that. I kept thinking about how grateful I was that I got to be there when she died. I certainly don't mean to be morbid, but there really is something very special about being in the pressence of death (the peaceful death of a loved one at least) and continuing to live...

oh and I miss my aunt betty. she was there with me she is a hospice nurse and had been taking care of granny. Betty knew right before it happened that granny was going. My grandma's name was Jeanette.Betty was my grandma's youngest child. how strangely beautiful it was that the person granny had last birthed into life, was the person who patiently and courageously birthed granny into death.


the whole world's a cycle.




I've just realized that my watch that my mom gave me on the moring of my departure (it is technically my mom's watch) smells like my mom- her perfume at least, in the latch. that's nice.

Today I feel better but I have a paper to write on British Culture before thursday then dani comes for Van Morrison and we head off to Salisbury and Stonehenge. The paper is going to be on British Music- in the past 50 years. This lovely little island has produced some great music.

anyway- just wanted to write. hope everyone's doing well, or if not that they're handling it well.

So day five of illness. Ick.

I had to miss my trip to East sussex yesterday because my head felt like it would explode if I moved around too much. I have medicine though in liquid form, no pills this time (although I hate medicine period). There is just something about taking these external substances that really weirds me out. I feel like i'm betraying my body sometimes- ya know because for stuff like this cold- my body should be (and I'm sure is) capable of fighting it off without any help. But we take medicine to make the symptoms go away, when the symptoms are just signs that our body is doing what it's supposed to. However uncomfortable it may be to just live with the symptoms still feels better than that sense of betrayal and lack of trust in my own body. Next time I get sick I think i'll just let my body do it's work. Be a little patient.

hrm. Today I have been feeling much better. Celeste, Kim, Sevy, Angela (the minnesotan) and I went out to Sunday Roast. Apparently every sunday here a bunch of pubs have a roast (you can have chicken, beef, lamb, or vegetarian). It was great. I had chicken and lots of vegetables (some of them completely unknown to me). Right now I'm really full and am starting to believe that myth about English food being really horrible is just that, a myth.

Yesterday while I was practicing my skills of lying motionless for hours on end I read more in my book on India. I found a couple of places in Delhi I really want to go to- like the Mahatma Gandhi Museum. I've also been reading the Tibetan book of living and dying. It's the second time I've read it, but I went through it too quickly last time to really retain anything. It's much more vivid and thought provoking this time around and is suplemented well by the book on india.

pictures picture pictures. So before I got here I decided that I didn't want any pictures of things, or if I did have pictures of things that they would also have people in them. So i've taken about 0 pictures in Brighton, but I will get on it soon. The only problem is I don't have my digital camera with me, so when I develope film I will have to develope it onto a cd. and did i mention that each pound sterling is worth $1.70. This creates a bit of a problem with the pictures cause I'm enormously cheap. I promise to put some up, soon but don't expect me to stop complaining about the cost.

I must tell you all about my flatmates downstairs (where I hope to move...maybe). One of the very first nights we all went out we went to a pub called the Lectern. It was a pretty nice pub with an enormous big screen television on the wall. When we arrived a football match was on (football being soccer- for those of you who don't know), but following that there was a program on David and Victoria Beckham. For those of you who don't know who David Beckham is, well, you're probably very smart people. He WAS an english football player (and one of the best) until he traded teams (he now plays for Real MADRID). Anyway he's married to Posh spice they have two kids Brooklyn and Romeo......



I know. I thought I'd give you guys a little space for laughter. Anyway we were all watching this program and they showed a close up picture of David and Oli said "He has a very symmetrical face". After we all finished laughing, we came to the conclusion that we should all be obsessed with david beckham (and some of us authentically are...sevy). So the joke had lasted for a while, we even hinted at the prospect of stealing a cardboard cut out of Becks (as he is affectionately known now) from Borders, but it was when Sevy started looking up pictures of him in magazines that it really grew out of proportion.

Now with those pictures she found she made photo copies, and she cut them out and pasted them on the wall of the downstairs common room. Then other people joined in and found a calendar- adding to the pictures on the wall. Sevy found more pictures and now everyone downstairs has a picture of becks on their door (oli got two). Sevy also found this article in a magazing about how to make squirrels out of loo rolls (toilet paper rolls) and cardboard. Now the downstairs common room is known as Beckingham Palace, complete with several little loo roll squirrels guarding the "Becks Shrine" contribution box where all are invited to contribute their tupances (two pence coins) to the cause. We're still working on a costume for two of the squirrels that will make them look like Buckingham palace guards.

I really love these people.

Strangeness is just so much more fun than normalcy. Oh and I forgot to mention that two rooms downstairs are still empty- so two (most likely british students) will have to acquiesce to their strangely obsessive, mostly american flatmates.

it's good stuff, I tell you.

just another silly story for your entertainment. Yesterday on the East Sussex trip everybody got to go to Battle- the place where the Battle of Hastings was fought in 1066- The last time England was invaded. Sevy, being the clever girl that she is, found herself a most appropriate costume for halloween. When they arrived home, and I met up with them I found sevy fully decked out in fake chainmail and shirt with the cross on it, just like a british knight circa 1066. To add to the hillarity of this situation we all realized that we will be in Paris during Halloween (the french were those last people to invade) and that several of us were planning to get coconuts to beat together and follow sevy around singing the fanfare from Monty Python and the holy grail.

silly people we are. Laughter is the best medicine.

OOh my classes have worked out. I'm taking Contemporary British Poetry, Advanced Creative Writing (travel writing) and Explorations in literature. The professor who's teaching the Explorations class also taught a day in our British Culture Module and he seems very interesting. I recommended he read "the Culture of Make Believe" by Derrick Jensen- (I recommend all of you do the same) a book I thought he'd be interested in. I hope this semester is as exciting as I keep imagining it to be. I still might have one addition class that I can take, but I might just stick to three ( those five day weekends... ).

Oh and I hope to get a job as soon as school starts. I think perhaps I'll work in the computer lab (they pay better) but if that doesn't work out I'll work in the Student Union, either at the desk, the shop, or the bar. Yes yes, there's a bar on campus! woo.

anyway I've rambled enough for today. I hope everyone is doing well.

peace.
shavawn

Hey everyone. Today I'm feeling like crap. I've got some kind of cold- but i'm really not complaining. I went out and had a fantastic time last night. I made a few friends and fell deeper into love with the people i've been hanging out with since I arrived. So, i know everyone is lost and has no idea about who i'm talking about so I'll try to qualify. Celeste and Kim are both from Humboldt university in California. Celeste is probably the person I'm most kindred with. She's athletic, playful and just great. When she arrived she had litteraly one bag on her back and she'd been traveling before she got to brighton. Taught me a good lesson (with my 5 bags that I could barely handle myself) about what I really "need." She reminds me that death is but a breath away and I should live now now now! Kim has the best laugh - the harder she laughs the higher the pitch gets...its wonderful. Last night we went out with Kim and her friend Sade (from australia) whom she met at an easter seals camp where they both worked with people from ages 7 to 45 (i think) with disabilities. She reminds me of how important helping others is oh and how good laughter is for you. Oli and I are betrothed. He's from Hamilton, New Zealand and we've worked out the perfect plan for both of us to get green cards into each respective country. The bonus is (that oli's wonderful) but really that his parents are suisse, so he has access to not only New Zealand, but all of the European Union (and a nifty suisse passport). I thought an american green card for him was a good trade off for my personal access to both the E.U. and New Zealand. Oli's face gets all scrunched up in the most fabulous way when he smiles and when we make him giggle is the most precious thing you've ever seen. It's like his joy is too big for his face to hold. Plus he's a hockey (field- the "real" kind apparently) player so I have someone to go cheer for. Then there's severina or Sevy. We most match musically- at least with our fanatacism for it. She doesn't much like music from the 60s and 70 though- I'll have to work on her. She's a lit major and is hillariously quirky. She's such a tiny little thing but she packs a big punch. Picture Daria, slightly smaller with more excited sarcasm and a dry sense of humor. I'm dying to meet her family- especially her mexican grandmother about whom she recounts fabulous and outrageous stories. She's initiating me into icelandic rap and a welsh band that really likes Kronenbourg beer. Then there's Christina from ohio. She reminds me most of Dani. Within the first 6 hours of knowing her we were already picking at each other with heavy sarcasm. She explained to me why it's ok to have a celebrity crush on vin deisel quite convincingly. She's always up for fun or hanging out. She gives great face. When she laughs (which is often- sometimes all the time) her eyes get all squinty and her face looks like the comedy face. ( you know the comedy and tragedy faces one's laughing one's crying- yeah she's the laughing one). And her sarcasm seeps into her facial expressions beautifully. There are many others Two Ashleys (one from new jersey, one from ohio), a billy and allison (who are engaged), two angela's (one's a grad student- from new york and the other was here last semester- from minnesota), another kiwi named greg. for those of you who don't know "kiwi" is a nickname for new zealanders. We have a brian from chico, a heather from texas, a kristen from kansas, a sheena and Aubrey from Las vegas, an eryn from idaho, and an abbey from ohio. Abbey is actually just our student guide kinda but she lives in my flat. She came through USAC two and a half years ago and has just stayed. She works for the american office and graduates sometime this year. Hrm perhaps I'll take over her job. *wink*
Besides last night which included dinner, a pub (with pool- british not american. Joshua- you should be proud to know that i've become quite good at british pool. can't play nine ball though. the balls are smaller and divided equally into two colors red and yellow. Last night I won twice. once by myself and once with celeste), and finally a club, I've been on one pub crawl which was wonderful and been out to a few pubs in town in smaller groups. I never pictured myself coming to brighton and going clubbing but man I love to dance. Good atmosphere here- none of that reno live crap. In addition to pubbing and clubbing I've been attempting to plan a trip to india this winter, either before my parents come after christmas or if they decide to come in spring for the whole month I have off. Celeste is going with her cousin and I asked to tag along. I've purchased a book on india and I'm glad to learn so much even if I don't get to go this time. I did find a relatively cheap ticket, but haven't had the gall to buy it yet. Have to talk to my mum first. As I said before I should be getting my classes sorted out later this afternoon and I hope *fingers crossed* that I'll only have class on wednesday and thursday. FIVE DAY WEEKENDS! WOO! I've planned a jaunt to italy in october. Dani will be here next weekend for Van morrison and we're heading out to Salisbury (i love you kes) and stonehenge, possibly wales. I've secured a long weekend in Dublin after the radiohead concert- perhaps with free accomodation. This weekend I'm taking a small tour of East sussex and am going to paris the first weekend in november. I'll write more when I get info on my classes.

about brighton: it's a city of about 260,000 people but where i live (in the south downs or sussex downs) looks more like a pastoral countryside. We live about 20 minutes out of town on a bus, and I've purchased a three month bus pass. The city is lively and reminds me SOOOO MUCH of san fransisco. When you're driving (or in my case riding) into town you come through the south downs (which are hills- pretty big ones too, but no mountains) it looks like a pretty well populated traditional english town. Cute cottages and old red brick buildings. some victorian houses but by the time you get through the downs it morphs into Berkley with it's quaint livelyness (i know that might not make sense but it does to me) and bohemian streets, as you get closer to the ocean the city explodes into san fransisco without the nasty smog and dirty streets. Victorian town houses squashed together painted in different variations of all pastel colors or white. Not quite so steep streets but hilly anyway all mixed in with this extravagent building called the Royal Pavillion and an old pier. The beach is very well kept, clean and rather touristy but beautiful all the same. The weather here has only recently turned cold, and my campus is notorious for having nasty winds. I hope to find a pair of ear muffs so I don't get another ear infection. I think it's about time for my nap- it speeds along the healing process. I just want everyone to know that I miss and love them but am extraordinarily happy here and feel so grateful and thankful that I'm privileged (sp?) enough to have this experience.

peace,

shavawn

So I had this lovely plan to transfer all of my journals into this web log but the fact is I'm just too lazy. so here's a short but sweet recap of my life since september 3rd when I ventured out of american into the unknown.

days one and beyond: lots of air travel a nasty nine hour layover in D.C. met a lovely girl named Yael there (she chews gum like it's the most fantastic activity ever invented) arrived safely in london. A sweet girl from Minnesota helped me cary my luggage to the heathrow express and then to a taxi. I arrived in my hostel, slept a lot. Met three very cool girls. Elle from Australia and Tanja and Melanie from New Ulm Germany. We hung out and drank some cheap wine after I woke up. the next day I met Noelle- from NY and she and I went walking all around London. Westminster Abbey is excellent. I saw where Queen Elizabeth I is buried. Lots of other interesting dead people buried there. The next day was hard because it was my neice Isabella's first birthday. I missed family a lot that day- but I got to talk to my brother and my nephew Sam, so all was good. The next day I checked out of the hostel and went to the airport WAY TOO EARLY for my flight, but i did meet five lovely irish girls and they played cards with me and made fun of pop idols.

Cork days: I arrived in Cork on September 8th and had the most fabulous cab driver. He told me all about Cork on our short drive to Dani's Appartment. He was totally charming. Dani was waiting outside for me and we hugged and almost got ran over. Good stuff. We went out to a Pub that night called the Thirsty Scholar - funny huh and I had too many pints of cider (good stuff though- just in moderation). We saw this great band that played traditional irish music and a few kids got up and did some traditional irish dancing. It was excellent (not to mention they played sweet caroline- the best pub song ever). The next day was low key. I washed clothes and later in the afternoon went wandering around city centre. I found a fabulous che guevera faceplate for my phone and a cute little store that reminded me of the melting pot at home. Dani and I saw a movie (Veronica Guerin) about and Irish reporter in Dublin who, while reporting on Dublin's drug problems, gets assaulted and eventually murdered by those running the industry. It's powerful and moving and made my heart hurt a lot. I just kept feeling how I wasn't big enough to save the world. If that makes any sense to anyone. The next day was pretty uneventful but I did play Irish Monopoly with a couple of Dani's friends. Good stuff. Then I went home.

Brighton: I took a bus from stanstead airport to brighton and while the drive was lovely and the english countryside is as wonderful as it has always seemed the trip was three hours long and I was ready to be off the bus by the time we arrived. Thankfully my hotel was 50 feet from the bus stop so my five bags and I made it quickly and safely into my room- on the third floor. It was nighttime so I couldn't see the water but the hotel is right next to the brighton pier which was all lit up and reminded me (oddly enough) of the movie lost boys when the vampires first attack. Oh yeah good stuff. I basically went to sleep that night. The next day I walked around brighton and ate at this horrible restaurant. I walked out on the pier at sunset and decided that it wasn't all that scary after all.

HOME: I arrived the following moring at my flat and met some of my flat mates. Without going into too much detail I love thus far Celeste, Kim, Christina, and Oli. We've had many adventures but i'm tired of typing so I'm going to go. peace and happiness to you all.